I don’t know what you are.
I DON'T REQUIRE YOUR HELP.
God I bet..
I bet Sam fucking LOVES having guests. So he actually made a fucking massive breakfast for them, and he doesn’t know what these guys eat - Natasha’s tiny, so Sam makes a fruit salad, but then, maybe Steve (who’s huge) likes fruit salad too, so he ends up with a punchbowl full of fruit. But then also waffles and pancakes, and eggs… though who knows how these people eat their eggs? Sam likes scrambled, but he boils some just in case, and sets up a frying pan in case either of them wants fried. Better put some water on to boil in case someone wants poached…. While he has the eggs out, might as well make french toast. But then actually, Natasha’s european, right? They like that weird-ass continental breakfast shit, so he rolls up some little bits of ham and cheese, which looks weird without croissants and muffins and whatnot so he nips out to get some. And some juice. And some tea. And some hair straighteners.
And so Natasha eats a few bits of everything, but Steve… well Steve grew up during a time where you did not waste food - clearing your plate is ingrained in him, so. Yeah, he did have a big breakfast. He had all the breakfast.
And some hair straighteners.
"My dad was a party man. Machine politician. Did what he was told. Right up until the cops showed up, put the cuffs on him. The local press was camped out on our lawn for weeks. Then this guy showed up, the guy that the party would send to deal with… Uncomfortable situations. He said two words. And those reporters? They packed up, and they left, and they never came back. And I realized, that’s what I want to be. The person who knows what to say, and always has something to trade."